Why Velayudham deserves an Oscar

I have read some great psycho-analysts describe Gandhi’s close obsession to salt all through his life. Starting from the salt Satyagraha, to him avoiding salt in his food, they had attributed it to his guilt from not serving his father at his death bed. Today I observed the same kind of obsession in a Tamil hero’s movie. What’s Vijay’s obsession to chase a train and overtake it? I wonder which psychologist would successfully analyze this bizarre craving of our hero. The reader needn’t jump to conclusions that am compare the stints of Vijay to anything near Gandhi. I have a great respect for the latter’s life reforming deeds and the formers proves to be a Donkey’s laugh to the mindful audience due to his antics. The hero was immortalized to everything from a super hero to a God himself in the film. A very spiritual lot this Tamil cinema makers that they want to god-make every loving hero of theirs. I am still wondering how our hero who was able to beat a train running in its full speed and stop it too, had failed to chase his running sister and save her from her own fate. Why kill the sister character played by an ever faithful ‘ saranya mohan’ at the last fifteen minutes of the film, I wonder. The screenplay is strewn with amazing logical sequences like for example, when a whole bus is blown up in a bomb and charred human remains are portrayed, a single plastic lunch bag carried by one of the victims survived this immense explosion and fire. Am sure that lunch bag must have been blessed by our Godly hero, or must have belonged to Rajnikath. Chennai seems to have become a small place comprising of ten streets and fifty people probably and everyone keeps meeting anyone at the right sequence of time and repeatedly. The movie increased my beliefs on chaos theory for a reason it was nothing but complete chaos in screenplay. How the hero tried to hide his identity in the entire film with just a hood which stayed in place on every fight sequence shows his super humanness. This beats M.G.R’s impersonations with a mole in his right cheek. Politics inspired dialogues are unbiasedly distributed all over the movies script. And the most pathetic of which was by a policeman at his death. He says to the terrorist who just shot him “You people cannot save your own leader, Bin Laden, but we are the Indians who are still protecting Kasab.” What was even more painful was the crowd cheering at the dialogue. My Indian instincts made me want to slap myself instead; I refrained, reminding myself I was at a Vijay movie. Much more painful as a woman was the pervertization of the Indian heroine. The two heroines don't seem to serve any other purpose but that. As usual the more intellectual of the two heroines was outcast and the hero garlands the dumb ,a little off-beat crazy village “murai ponnu” whose sole purpose in life was to marry him. I wonder when our Tamil heroes will ever grow up! Or become intellectual enough to choose a girl with brains. I guess for now all we brainy girls can decide to become nuns. Why would anyone construct a rail track that lead straight to an explosive tank in a highly protected factory’s (it had six people at the gate to guard it) private rail line so comfortable for the terrorist to drive a train straight into it? Should such logic lapses be beyond a director’s brain? The visual of the songs were so-so, and fights, thankfully each villain is killed in just one-shot by our super hero hence bearable. The movie was probably my biggest mistake this weekend but nevertheless promised everything that a Vijay movie usually does. I can’t believe a person who finds this palatable and entertaining. To me it was a full length comedy crapper.

God said,Let there be sleep!

There is a difference between music and noise. My favourite song, in my iPod is music, the same tune in my alarm clock: Hell, its noise! Whoever designed 6 am to be an appropriate time for the sun to rise and work day to begin, should have been burnt at the stake. Obviously he didn’t have the tiresome demands of face book, conference calling, and text messages and am also sure he didn’t have a friend to wish “happy birthday” to at 12 am in the night. I accept the sun has risen and day begins. But why should anyone logically work at daytime? Human beings are not chlorophyllic right? I cursed myself for yet again skipping my New Year resolution to go to bed early. What with my cosmetologist lecturing me seriously that I’d age early if I kept awake at night for long. She smiled gently with her perfect pearl white teeth (teeth whitening obviously) I was tempted to tell her, “maybe I’ll just get a face-lift surgery like you”. What is the fun of ageing later than all my cool friends who were up all night and having all the fun? It kind of takes away the point in being young. It amazing how the brightest of ideas take root at eleven p.m when your at your computer desk. I had created my most precious photo collages and other such masterpieces at that hour. I am sure edisson’s mother never told him to go to sleep by ten. That’s why he invented the light bulb. There is more in convenience in getting up early than we acknowledge. For example, if I wake up at the usual time that everyone else does and go to office, can you even imagine how much traffic I have to face. I read an article last week on how stress levels are increasing among the working population that has to travel a long distance facing traffic jams and we in turn are developing into a race which is doomed for depression. Well not that exactly, but am sure thats what the author meant. If I slept in an hour I might just skip the high traffic hour and I have to run to office. Doesn’t anyone see the merit of the early morning exercise? Breakfast, oh wait that’s what kellogs was invented for right. And I will take the balanced health drink, on my way and all will be fine. There apparently are two types of human personality, the morning lark and the night owl. You see we are called that for a reason. History has observed a lot of creative geniuses are night owl. Haven’t you heard how A.R.R works better at the night time and look at the tunes he’s churned. The irony is my alarm tone sings his symphony at 6 am. What a cynical world. The human mind needs to rest eight hours. This is a proven medical fact. Is it proven that the mind needs to rest from 9-5. Who ever came up with that wierd time table? Health articles profess how beneficial it is to wake up early. The longevity of the human life is increased and one can live disease free. But have you noticed that most of the people who are at the park at 6 am are either diabetic or have high blood pressure? Now that scares me. That why I sleep in. And my neighbour subramaniam uncle told me a story of how his grandfather was run down by a milk van when he went jogging in the morning fog. I wouldn’t dare give up my life to live longer maybe by a few years. Dear parents who cant blink an eye after 5 am , Stop confusing the younger generation on the time they have to awaken. We have evolved and clearly understood the merits of staying up late into the night. The call rates are cheaper and this in turn may contribute to the economic development of India. We are a more responsible race now. Aware that sleeping, and sleeping alone can keep our minds fresh and free of depression and what’s more important than being happy in life. Say No to alarm clocks, and yes to night blinds. Respect the early morning snores please. Live and let live. By that I mean mom stop telling what time it is five minutes once! Am not getting up anytime before eight.